I’ve been spending the last few weeks going through old blog posts and tidying them up, all with the view to improving my blog and changing the layout. In that time, I’ve stopped to read some of my old posts, and since BritMums Live is this weekend, I wanted to do a little retrospective of what I wrote back then, and what I had hoped to achieve. Not as much as I had planned it would seem!
Here is a section of the post, and if anything, it’s taught me, I need to keep re-evaluating my goals so that I actually stick to them.
… I wrote out a list of goals to aim for in the coming year… I’m going to share them, because, well, why not put it out there!!
- win a BiB! No chance of that this year, didn’t even make it to the shortlisted stage, which I will admit to bumming me out for all of about 10 minutes. I put so much of my own worth on what other people think of me, it was hard not to feel disappointed, and to make me question if I am good enough. I had to quickly snap that idea right out of my head as it is a serious way to self destruct.
- move blogging platform and re-design blog I did this soon after last year’s BritMums Live and very glad that I did. The WordPress platform that I now use makes it a lot easier for me to change layouts and keep things organised than my previous platform, Blogger. However, the move didn’t come with every properly intact, and I’ve slowly been going through old posts, removing erroneous code, and tidying things up. Nearly a year later and I’m still not quite finished! Expect a blog layout change in the near future though!
- double my earnings per calendar month I am very glad that I achieved this, and going forward, I have to try and double it again over the next year don’t I? It does mean implementing points 7 & 9 a bit more.
- buy a DSLR I’m always uhm-ing and ahh-ing about buying a DSLR camera, and have done for a number of years. I’m happy with the photographs that my current camera (a Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ200) provides me, and as it is a bridge camera, it gives me some manual control too. I know that once I go down the DSLR route I’ll me drawn into buying lenses and other pieces of kit, and I’m not sure if it’s an expense that I want. Plus, I’m really lazy, and know that changes lenses would be a real faff, and would I take it out as much if I have to haul different lenses around with me too?
- go down to a size 18 I’m fixing that. I need to learn that the battle is with myself and not food, and to stop putting my value as a person on my weight and size. Why I set myself this completely unattainable goal is beyond me. I’m going back to BritMums Live bigger than I was last year, but smaller than I was a couple of months ago. The past year has not been good for me with weight loss, but,
- smile more pah, my year has been pretty depressive, which has also meant I’ve been hiding it as much as possible, as I’ve not wanted to bring that side of me to my blog. That’s made things even harder. Am I turning a corner? I hope so, I know I can’t go on feeling like this.
- always listen and watch and learn I am reading lots of different things, on and offline, in the bid to give myself more knowledge, and as we all know, knowledge = power.
- be the best I can be Have I been the best I can be? I’m not sure. Bad thoughts about myself often creep in my head and I often deem myself a failure. I need to work on this.
- be more proactive with my blog I go through fits and starts with this. It doesn’t help that I have had a very up and down year on an emotional and personal level, so not has proactive as I could have been, and should have been. But there is always a tomorrow.
- put my collaboration plans into action I know I sent an email, but then never really followed it up, and then realised my mind was not in the right place whatsoever. I can’t even remember what my plans were.
and it probably won’t end there, I’m inspired to make lots of lists and start sorting out my life, both personally and my blog life too!
So it looks to me like there were more thumbs down than thumbs up for what I had hoped to achieve over the course of the year. Does that make me feel sad? A little bit, but on the whole, I know that I’ve had a very up and down year with my inner demons, and so, I’ve not been focused, and often flitting between one thing and another without any sort of purpose.
I’m looking forward to BritMums Live this weekend, because I know, from past experience, that I will come away with a new sense of purpose and be full of inspiration. All I can say really, is watch this space!