11 Years of Our Lives – A Second Chance at Love (2006-2013)

Home » Family » 11 Years of Our Lives – A Second Chance at Love (2006-2013)

Please Share This Post!

Tomorrow, I move house. The house that Liam and I have called home for 11 years. Those eleven years, I break up into three phases: Liam, his dad and me; Liam and me; and Liam, Steve and me. I wrote yesterday about the first two phases and my life as a single mum, today, I’m writing about the third phase. The time when I got a second chance at love, where Liam gained a step-father, where I got married, and where my life changed – for the better! This post is picture heavy!

Old MacDonalds Farm

Looking through my old photographs, I see some from Old MacDonalds Farm on 12th December 2005. By now, Steve and I had become “boyfriend and girlfriend” and it was time for me to introduce Steve and Liam. Liam was my life, it was important that he got along with Steve, just as much as I did. I also didn’t want to just introduce men randomly to my son, for fear of hurting him further, so had to be very sure. And I was sure. Something about Steve told me that everything was right.

So, for the first time in a long time, I had a new love by my side, my boy was happy and I was happy. I introduced Steve to my family – not the easiest of first time experiences – he first met them on Boxing Day, when not only was it my sisters, brother and parents, but also some extended family! Talk about being thrown in at the deep end. I am very close to my family, and any man in my life would have to embrace all of that! And, he did…he passed with flying colours!

Steve bought his house in 2006, spookily, exchanging contracts near enough to the day that I got a tenancy on the flat we are living in (until this Friday!) back in 2002. I didn’t want to rush into living together or any of that heavy nonsense – I was still emotionally scarred from my relationship with my ex. So he stayed at his, Liam and I stayed at mine and that’s how things were for a while.

In March 2006, after much encouragement from a friend, I set up my business, New Moon Web Designs, after deciding that I couldn’t stay on benefits for ever, and wanted a work purpose in my life again. My first client was my friend who had just qualified as a counsellor and was starting up her own business,. Without her championing my skills – which I never, ever had faith in at the beginning (that whole “you’re not good enough” would creep into my mind), I would never have taken the plunge.

In 2006, it was also my turn to be there for Sharon, when she split up with her little girl’s dad. It was harder, with us being 200 miles apart now, but distance doesn’t matter to us. We’ve been friends now for 20 odd years, no one knows the secrets that we know about each other!!

2006 wasn’t without its rough parts…Steve and I did go through a rough patch, even going on a break for a couple of weeks. We mutually agreed to that, and for all three of us, it was tough, but, it made us stronger as a couple, as a family and I’m pretty sure, if we hadn’t done that, we wouldn’t be together today.

blank

Back on track, we decided to go on holiday together to Dorset. We rented a cottage and had a fantastic week, visiting, among other places, Lyme Regis, Charmouth, Monkey World and on the way home, Stonehenge.

blank

blank
Liam at Stonehenge

Steve helped me to get my front garden into some sort of shape, digging it over and making it look nice – he worked so hard!

blank

blank

blank
Proof that my peony once bloomed red!
blank
We didn’t plant this sunflower! A bird must have dropped the seed!

2006 was also the year that I turned 30. I had a huge party, which Steve kindly hosted at his house, and he surprised me with a weekend away in London! To be treated to such lovely things was alien to me – I couldn’t quite believe that a guy would love me enough to do that!

blank

blank
On an open bus tour in London for my 30th

blank

Steve learned that year about my love for Halloween! And, despite me feeling rotten, he managed to help me pull a little party together!

blank

And so, in November 2006, we celebrated one year together and both of us couldn’t quite believe it! We had our first ‘proper’ Christmas together (things were so new in 2005!) and we looked forward to the new year.

I live a lot of my memories through photographs – it’s why, you’ll find a lot of my posts to be picture heavy. Just writing this post up brings so many things flooding back, as I look through all my folders at things we have done over the years.

blank
The British Museum

2007’s summer was taken up with days out instead of a week away, and we visited a place a day – it was exhausting – but so much fun! And of course, so many memories!

blank

blank
Woburn Safari Park
blank
Colchester Museum
blank
Beaconscot Model Village
blank
Beaconscot Model Village
blank
Mountfitchet Castle
blank
Mountfitchet Toy Museum
blank
Mole Hall Wildlife Park
blank
Paradise Wildlife Park

Another Halloween, a 2 year anniversary (OMG, I thought, I can’t believe this!), another Christmas…
blank

blank
A friends 60s themed Birthday Party

And into 2008…by now, I was well and truly smitten.

On 14th March 2008, Steve asked me to marry him…of course, I said yes. We were both actually feeling quite ill at the time, so it wasn’t a big romantic gesture – he had already taken me to pick out a beautiful ring and we’d already been discussing marriage! Of course, we announced our engagement as all modern couples, that meet on the interwebz do – on Facebook!!

We threw a big party for all our friends and family, and looking at this picture – it was a truly happy event!

blank
Our engagement party

My ex and I were getting along better – not so many stupid arguments about child support payments, or when he was going to see Liam. My ex and Steve got along (as best an ex and a new partner would!) Liam and Steve got along which was the MOST important thing to me. I always told Steve that Liam and I are a package, if he wanted me, he had to want Liam as well. And he embraced all that being a step-dad was about. Furthermore, without him, we wouldn’t have been able to go on the wonderful holiday we had in 2006, or the days out through the rest of the year, or the next holiday we had together in 2008.

We went back to Dorset – a place in the UK that had found out that we loved – so much to see and do, and in the future, I’ll probably do a few Flashback Friday posts of the days out and the places to visit down there! We didn’t go overseas, mainly because I was scared that I wouldn’t fit in an aeroplane seat…over the years with Steve, (and before, and still) I battled with my weight, from being told that I could never lose weight because of my hormones, to being told I should have a gastric bypass…but, Steve loved me for me, and because he was happy, I was happy too.

We had sent away for one of those Sun, £9.50 holiday deals, and stayed in a caravan in Weymouth – we had such fun!
blank

blank
On Lyme Regis beach
blank
At Portland Bill

My mum turned 60 in 2008, and we had a photo of us sibs together…omg, my roots!!

blank
My sibs and I for my mum’s 60th

The year so far was filled with good times, but a sad event happened. Our darling cat, Holly, was killed by a car.

We all adored that beautiful cat, and to say we were devastated was an understatement. I cried for a week…growing up in pubs meant we didn’t get to have pets as children, so I never really understood the love people have for their pets. In that moment where she was taken away from us, I understood.

Just looking at these photos of my precious Holly makes me cry. She loved Liam, she loved Steve, and she loved me. She was OUR cat…she was a funny little thing, I used to call her cat-dog because of her canine/feline behaviour!

Breaking the news to my son that Holly had died was just horrid…we had put posters up around the street for people to keep an eye out for her, and I thought she might have got trapped in someone’s shed, but deep down I think I new – she never stayed out longer than a night. I learned that a neighbour had found her and burried her…thank God, I don’t think I’d have dealt with that.

She was such a unique, special cat with a distinct marking on her shoulders – the stripes looked like a butterfly. RIP dear Holly, you were such a gorgeous animal.

blank

blank

blank

It’s weird, but a few weeks after Holly went to chase mice in kitty heaven, another cat turned up at my door. I’d been out all day, and he was just sitting there. My neighbour said he’d been sitting there all day! A big fat ginger cat he was, and as I walked down the path and opened the front door, he didn’t run away, but just walked in, like he owned the joint!

Since I still had food left over from Holly, I fed him and he made himself at home. I let him out each night, but he came back a few times. Then, as quickly as he showed up – he was gone! I called him Tiger, because he had such a deep purr!!

Call me silly, but I always believe that it was a way of letting me know that all would be okay – I grieved for Holly pretty hard – and as I type this, you may think me weird that I would get so emotional about a cat. But you have to understand, for me, she was my little friend. When I split up with Liam’s dad, and he was tucked up in bed, Holly would keep me company and cuddle up to me. I say she was our cat, but she was MY cat, and I loved her.

blank

Right, onto some happier times…the wedding plans which got well underway…with visiting of venues, and attending wedding shows and pledges of weight loss. We also finally moved in together in October 2008. He rented out his house and came and lived here, with us. We bought all new furniture for Liam’s room and we planned to decorate the rest of the house.

blank

In between all this we went to concerts, to the theatre, on days out, on weekends away – life was fun again and I was always so grateful (and still am) to have Steve in my (our) lives. Sometimes I still had to pinch myself that everything was real. That this fantastic kind, funny, generous man had found me and wanted to be with me. I did go through bouts of depression, through my own self doubt. Seeking counselling for it in the hope to overturn any dark feelings about why I didn’t deserve to be happy.

With 2009 now here and the year that we would be getting married, I stepped up a gear and tried to lose weight. I joined the gym, went swimming and hired a personal trainer – but whilst I was getting fit, I just wasn’t losing pounds. Sometimes it mattered to me, sometimes it didn’t. Someone once said to me, if I don’t lose weight for my wedding I’d probably never do it. But you see, I’ve been trying to lose weight all my life. For my 21st, for my 30th, for my wedding…but I never did, and those events still happened.

In the meantime, my sister had also got engaged, and was getting married in Cyprus, 8 weeks before us. I’d have to face up to my fear of not fitting into an aeroplane, get myself and the boy a passport and take Liam abroad for the very first time. To a place that I spent many happy summers as a child…I got on that aeroplane, and I even fit – my fears were for nothing. I, we, all had a fab week in the Larnaca sunshine, and my immediate regret was that I had wasted 15 years of being afraid to get on an aeroplane because of my size.

blank
At my sister’s wedding, Larnaca, Cyprus, 2009
blank
My sister, brother-in-law and Liam

I came home with a renewed sense of “I’m going to really try and lose weight – and I did – a little bit, maybe a stone. I lost a lot of inches though, thanks to my PT, and had to have my wedding dress taken in – but I was the fat bride that I so didn’t want to be…but, I think I worked it! And, I still married the love of my life.

And so, the big day, 5th August 2009. One of the happiest, most perfect days of my life – our wedding day. I’ve blogged extensively about all our plans and what happened, but here are a few of my favourite photos.

blank

blank
With my family ♥
blank
With our parents ♥
blank
Me & My Boy ♥
blank
Me & My Bestie ♥
blank
A Family ♥

blank

blank
I’m not flipping the bird!!

blank

blank

As I walked down the aisle towards my husband to be, as we said our vows and exchanged rings in front of our friends and family, it was hard to wipe the smile from either of our faces! The day went past in a whirlwind, and I remember, as we had our first dance, that I told Steve, through tears of joy that it was the happiest day of my life. ♥

We honeymooned in the UK – booked well before we knew about going to Cyprus, so my aforementioned plane fear had come into play. We had a lovely week, just the two of us and coming home and with the frenzy of wedding planning now gone, I, we, came down to earth with a huge bump. I slunk into the post-wedding blues, but we got through it. Through the highs and the lows I vowed, I will be by your side. To stand by you, whatever comes, he vowed. And we did.

blank
Sinking Pimms on honeymoon

My darling grandmother, who wasn’t able to make my wedding day from Cyprus, died in December 2009. I spoke to her on my wedding day, and was so upset she wasn’t well enough to attend. I am still devastated at the loss of her – I thought she’d live forever. I don’t have many of my old photographs scanned, but I do have this one of her on her wedding day. I had scanned all photos of those that couldn’t be here – through distance, or through passing on, to have displayed at our wedding. She was only 17 when she married my granddad, and I think she looks radiant. She adored all of us grandchildren and Liam. RIP Yaiyai ♥

blank
My paternal grandparents

In 2010 we spent our first wedding anniversary in Paris – we visited Disneyland to get us excited for our once in a lifetime holiday to Walt Disney World in Florida in 2011.

blank
On level 2 of the Eiffel Tower, Paris

We also went on another family holiday to Dorset. The day before, we adopted a little black and white cat from our neighbour. My sister said she’d look after the cat until we got home. Whilst there, I came up with her name – Pumpkin!

blank
Hunting fossils in Charmouth
blank
Liam with Pumpkin as a kitten

We decorated the living room (finally!) and bought a gorge new sofa – I love that sofa, but worried where it’s going to fit in our next house! Eek! We sold the old one on eBay and I love this pic of Steve when we had put it out in the front to be picked up…I call him Redneck Steve in this one! We also bought our flat.

blank
The redneck!

Liam started secondary school – my little boy was really growing up! Every year, I take a photo of him in front of the door – to chart how tall he has gotten. I’m going to miss doing that!

blank

More Halloweens and Christmases and parties and celebrations…

blank

blank
Mammoth courgette!

blank

blank

blank

blank

blank
Halloween 2010

blank

blank

blank

blank

blank
Going to a friend’s wedding
blank
Halloween 2011

blank

blank

blank

At the start of 2011 I started the Cambridge Weight Plan. I lost just over 5 stone by the time we went on holiday to Orlando, Florida in August 2011…a once in a lifetime trip, that I had to so sadly cancel back in 2003, a dream was fulfilled! I was so proud – on both counts – losing some weight – and for finally going to Florida! I turned 35 (still fat, still happened) I also started up my blog in November 2011.

blank

blank
My 35th Birthday Party – 1950s themed
blank
Hubs & I at Hard Rock Calling to see Bon Jovi

In 2012, my son turned into a teenager. I took a photo of him a few weeks before, playing in the snow in the back garden. Looking through old photos at the time, I found one of him in the same spot, many years before…

blank
Look how he’s grown!
blank
I took him to the park for a coming of age photo shoot…

blank

blank

blank
Me & My Boy ♥

2012 really was a big year! My sister had a baby...

blank
Sephy, 30 minutes old ♥
blank
Sephy had her first Halloween and Christmas at our house!

blank

2012 was also big one for birthdays, I already mentioned my boy turning 13, my brother in law turned 30, my dad turned 60

blank
Dad, Charlie the dog, my sibs and me for Dad’s 60th

Steve turned 40, I threw him a party at home, what a great night that was!

blank

We also booked to go back to Florida and we made the decision to move house. It wasn’t fulfilling our needs any more – a little too small now with a teenager and us wanting to try for a baby in the near future. Me with all my crafty and party supplies – taking up so much room that I’m surrounded by boxes all the time…so, despite loving this house, and I do love it here, it is time for a new chapter in our lives. We made the decision to move on. We are making a temporary move, back to Steve’s old house (which is also too small for us) and to sell that and move onto our dream home. Time will tell what happens!

At the start of 2013, I took Steve to Bruges, Belgium as a late Birthday present from me. We had a blast!

blank
Bruges Beer Festival
blank
Pumpkin is now a big cat, and my boy is 14!

When I first met Steve in 2005, I was a broken woman, he found me and he fixed me. He helped me to trust again, to smile again, to laugh again – he gave me a second chance at love. And for that, my dear husband, I love you. Forever and for always (as Shania sang at our wedding!)

This photo collage are photos of us from each year we’ve been together (except, I don’t seem to have a photo from 2005!)

blank
Top row, L-R: My 30th (2006), Bon Jovi Concert at the O2 (2007), Weekend in London (2008) Middle row, L-R: Our Wedding Day (2009), Halloween (2010) Bottom row, L-R: New Years Eve, (2011), A friend’s 40th (2012), Bruges (2013)

When Steve met Liam for the first time, he was just a little boy of 5 years old. There was some time before Steve came into our lives, and this photo collage is of him. Starting at the top left with 2005…when I was putting this together, wow, did my tears fall, remembering the times when these photos were taken, seeing how much he has grown and changed – but those gorgeous blue eyes aren’t so sad any more.

blank

And finally…me. The queen of the selfie! From buying my first digital camera in 2004, which is what that photo is at the top left, with short brown hair and puppy eyes. Full of sadness because I was grieving for a love that was gone and a relationship that was over. To the 2005 pic, which I managed to pull my future husband with! I hid the fat quite well, I hope he wasn’t too shocked when he met me!

With straight red hair in 2006 and one of the first pics I used as a selfie for Facebook! And then, finally becoming a lot happier with myself in 2007 when I knew that Steve wasn’t here to mess me around. The middle pic, 2008, going to a concert with my bestie – in need of a root job! And one of the happiest days of my life – my wedding day, and my hair dyed black. I didn’t lose weight, but I look at that photo of me, and I think I scrubbed up well. I know my husband adored me on that day, and before and to this, and that’s what matters.

2010, snow, hat, selfie…2011, brimming with confidence, having lost more than 5 stone by now, and not having to hold the camera so high to hide the fat face, to 2012, at the Harry Potter Studio Tour, and so content with my life!

blank

And here’s me, in 2013, I took it on day 93 of my Project 365 and entitled it “Acceptance”.

blank

It’s been an emotional and therapeutic journey writing this post and the one from yesterday, and if you’ve read it through to the end – I salute you! If you know me in real life, you’ll know already about a lot of the things that happened – you may not have known my feelings about some of them! I wrote these posts because I needed to close that chapter of my life and allow the next chapter of my life to begin…

It’s been lovely to look back at my life over the past 11 years and how things have changed. Reliving the good times and the bad that I’ve had whilst living here, in my little flat that I cried so much about because it wasn’t a house! The break up with Liam’s dad and being a single mum on benefits…meeting Steve – the love of my life and marrying him. And all of the things in between – watching my son grow, starting my own business, seeing loved ones depart from this world to the next, finally losing some weight, having old friends move away, and new friends come into my life…the highs, the lows, the laughter, the tears, the successes, the failures…

Through all the changes, there has been one constant, and I dedicate this post to him…my precious, blue eyed boy, my son, Liam ♥

blank

blank

This post was featured on the Brit Mums Positively Inspirational Round-Up.

Please Share This Post!